Labors of Love: Musings on dynamics w The Creator & the act of Creation itself
The Empress & The Eternal Child - Mother, Midwife & Manifestation - the Beloved & the Beholder
The last time we spoke I told you we’d be talking allll about that ‘L’ word.
SURPRISE! The word of the day is Labor.
Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
Although, it seems pretty fitting for this fine Saturday evening (read: Saturn’s Day - the planet of maturity, restriction, discipline, and rewards for sustained & dedicated work).
Thomas Edison said, “Opportunity is often missed by people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
If you’re human, you might’ve noticed that it’s a bit easier to sustain effort towards something that’s actually enjoyable. Something we love, desire, and cherish.
So how do we find it within ourselves to consistently show up & do the work that’s calling to us? Well, let’s talk about that…
MOTHER, MIDWIFE, MANIFESTATION
The Holy Trinity, but make it feminine
I’m sure you’ve heard by now the sentiment that we humans are merely channels for the Divine - empty vessels here to let God have its way through us. Actors in the Great Theatre of life, and nothing more.
Now, while there’s some truth to be found in this statement, much like there is for everything we say - this ain’t the whole truth & nothing but the truth.
I’m of the mind that babies come through us and not of us, too, but can a human be born into this world without the DNA of its parents making up & influencing the fibre of its being?
We are vessels, yet we are not just vessels - the ideas, opportunities, and inspiration we receive are delivered to us - tailored to our individual personality, gifts, talents & skills - so that it may be experienced through us.
We are a part of Source energy. How could we give The Universe credit for delivering the idea & not give ourselves credit for delivering the physical experience?
We’re not just actors - we’re also the producers and scriptwriters of our lives.
You, my friend, are the vessel and the lens through which Spirit wants to be known.
The Masculine side of the coin - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit
The Divine Feminine - Mother, Midwife, Manifestation
Amongst the many names I have to describe the work I do and who I am, I call myself an Idea Doula. Meaning I enjoy and have mastered the process of bringing a vision into the world from its conception to completion, and I love helping fellow creatives do the same.
The birthing process of both babies and creative ideas is a series of highs and lows, feeling sick to the stomach & experiencing satisfaction, growing pains, discomfort, excitement, fear and bravery…
Pg 5 of The Artist’s Way says, “this peaks-and-valleys phase of growth becomes a series of expansions and contractions, a birthing process in which students experience intense elation and defensive skepticism.”
No pain, no gain…
There’s art that comes from pain and art that comes from pleasure.
While I’ve had my fair share of both, I prefer the latter. & Yet still I believe both are necessary to the full development of an artist. Digging deep into one’s self to excavate the pain, fear, joy, and desire buried within and bring them forth into the light as art, as our offerings to the Collective.
The Divine Feminine teaches us the importance & inescapable cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth.
The Mother conceives. The Midwife delivers. The Manifestation experiences itself anew. Embrace, Embody, & Express so that you may Experience the fruits of your own essence.
This version of the Holy Trinity is about being the creator, doula, and reborn baby all at once - the midwife for your new life. A non-gender specific model of creativity that illustrates the human capability to embody their role as the sole creator of their reality, experience themselves as their own creation, & be on the receiving end of the final product.
It stresses reverence for the energy it takes to co-create, incubate, pull out, and then care for a child or piece of art/work as it grows. And the support each of us needs as we carry the weight of a whole new world inside us.
Because as someone who’s been prone to depressive episodes, I noticed the energetic crash I’d experience each time after birthing one of my creations into the 3D. Linked to burnout, but not quite, I liken it to being a form of Creative Post-Partum Depression. When you feel sucked dry of your life force, potentially a little disappointed & fatigued now that the fun part of creating in solitude is over, coming down from the high on life you were feeling and hitting the sobering reality that now the real work begins. Now it’s time to sustain what you’ve created, share it with others, see your baby out interacting in the wild of society. To parent.
To get through the messy middle where you’re doing all the work (pushing) & not seeing the reward - like where the baby at?
To heal wounds from creative miscarriages & deal with the grief of projects that never made it off the ground.
It takes a Village in life & biz - to nurture, raise, support, and care for our creative visions while taking care of ourselves.
As the saying goes, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb - surround yourself with your chosen family, and choose wisely.
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By the way, today is the 13th. 13 is the number of the Goddess, the void, the primordial feminine energy we’ve been taught to dismiss or fear (think Friday the 13th & the fact that some hotels don’t have a room #13 because folks believe the number brings bad luck). All that’s done is instill a fear in us of the dark (or unknown).
1 representing initiation, leadership, independence & individuality. 3 symbolizing creativity, chaos, expansion & divinity. 13 simplified = 4, the vibration of solid foundations, nature, roots & lineage, home & security. This energy can either build up through devotion or destroy by absorption.
Think of the idea of the “mama bear”. The energetic figurehead that’s capable of and responsible for deeply nurturing and fiercely protecting their offspring. Think of Isis, the Goddess of magic, passion, & sexuality, who scoured the earth to locate the pieces of her dismembered lover and resurrected him by making love to his re-membered body. Think of Sehkmet, the Lioness Goddess of fire, war, and anarchy, notoriously accredited with the unbridled feminine power of destruction.
The Womb of Creation is the place where love becomes life, the VOID that births all things in existence so that they may experience themselves as divine beings. The Divine Feminine urges us to forget about our “potential” (something we feel we have to live up to) and realize we’re already pregnant with possibility. And the possibilities are as endless as the Universe is infinite.
The birthing canal being the place where both child and mother experience the pain, discomfort, and uncertainty of the future that awaits them on the other side. Knowing it’s too late to go back to the safety & warmth of the womb, and that the only way out is through.
One of my all time favorite intuitive energy readers, Roseology, beautifully explains chaos & dark feminine energy as they relate to creativity in this clip:
So if you ask me which came first in the 🐣 scenario? It’s pretty clear. “God gave you the answer when [They] gave you the WOMAN…”
The Beloved & The Eye of the Beholder:
Connecting the dots between The Creator, Creativity itself, and Consumers/Critics
I’ve become a madwoman. I’ve fallen deeply, completely, and irrevocably in love with what I do and where I’m headed, obsessed with everything I create & simply satisfied with the act of creation itself.
However, creating art and sharing art are two entirely different beasts.
Creativity can be crippling if we’re unsure of whether or not what we’re making is actually any good. If the juice is gonna be worth the squeeze. If people will receive it well. If God approves.
We must remember our creativity is a gift from The Creator Itself. We must remember that although we may be the source, inspiration, the prima materia, vessel & lens for what we make, we are not the intended audience. Becoming the consumer of one’s own creations is a recipe for self criticism & flagellation, the crippling perfectionism that prevents us from sharing anything, ever. Which delays the satisfaction we could be feeling from self actualization.
It is not our job to judge it, only to express it.
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.” - Martha Graham
(Quote snagged from this article on The Hidden Danger of Comparing Yourself to Others)
Julia Cameron offers us this parable in The Artist’s Way: “Okay, Great Creator, I’ll take care of the quantity, you take care of the quality.”
The problem is, we don’t trust our creativity bc we don’t trust ourselves & we don’t trust God/our Creator for various reasons - grudges, wounds, subconscious beliefs, past experiences from our own lives & others’. We think humans are imperfect & therefore if God The Almighty can behave recklessly and make mistakes, then surely what we’re doing has a chance of being wrong too.
What’s more, the book Conversations With God: An Uncommon Dialogue by Neale Donald Walsch paints the picture of our parents as the “gods of [our] universe”. And it is from this relationship that we adopt our false ideas and beliefs about practically everything - who we are, who the Divine is and how They feel about art, and what love (conditional and otherwise) is…
“You have projected the role of “parent” onto God, and have thus come up with a God who judges and rewards or punishes, based on how good He feels about what you’ve been up to.”
My Creative Recovery, as Cameron calls it, has revolved around healing my core wound of not being (feeling) worthy of having a dream bc God & my parents/single mother & ghost of a father didn’t give me any sense of direction, any encouragement or acknowledgement of my natural talents. I was only expected to go to school, get good grades, and behave to keep the family’s good name in tact. I had one of those uncanny ‘aha’ moments when, after coming to this realization for myself, Julia says God = ‘Good Orderly Direction’. 💡 That was my reminder that my gifts didn’t come with any instructions bc it’s up to ME to decide what to do with it.
Another particularly nasty wound, silly as it may seem, can be traced back to a Teen Vogue quiz I took as a zealous child dreaming of becoming a fashion designer that told me I was more of a curator than I was a creator. Ouch. To little impressionable me, that read as “don’t quit your day job, kid. You don’t have what it takes.” And so I switched to becoming a stylist instead, and failed to fully pursue the dreams I had back then. I still applied to F.I.T (the only college I ever seriously considered attending) and when denied, I threw in the towel on the fashion industry completely. One simple “no” was all it took to send me spiraling into despair, cursing the (at the time, Christian God) on the way down for making me and then forsaking me. *shakes fist at the sky*
My unhealthy alignment with perfectionism combined with the fear of taking on a greater responsibility of consistently creating came down to a distrust in myself & my gift - you mean I’m gonna have to keep showing up & being good? No way I can pull that off…
“Every single free choice you ever undertake arises out of one of the only two possible thoughts there are: a thought of love or a thought of fear.
Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms.
Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.
Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away. Fear holds close, love holds dear. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. Fear attacks, love amends.”
Dearly beloved, let yourself BE LOVED
Love is a recognition of Oneness in a world of duality.
This is the work. Learning to trust that the universe is working *with* & not against us to make our dreams come true. Believing that Spirit wants what we want. Reminding ourselves that there are no mistakes made in the process of creation. Holding the vision until we’re beholding the vision. Having the courage to step out on a limb and the faithful knowing that our labor of love has the wings to fly & to carry us to the promiseland.
The act of creativity is rewarding in itself, & yet that doesn’t mean we still don’t want to be appreciated & applauded for birthing the damn thing.
It’s not a dirty secret to want to be recognized for your work, to receive the 6 of wands sense of esteemed achievement & accomplishment after working your ASS off to usher something new & beautiful into a strange world to consume.
Just remember, those who do not create, critique - so take all criticism with a grain of salt 🧂🤏, and especially those remarks from people too busy stifling their own dreams to appreciate yours.
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and they also say everything has beauty, but not everyone can see it.
Watch this video for 4 mins of bliss on the process of creativity from author of Eat Pray Love & Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert
The Empress + The Eternal Child: The Original Lovers
Self Love, Care + Creation
Perhaps the greatest labor of love you’ll ever endeavor is the mission of taking care of yourself, loving yourself unconditionally (meaning no matter what), falling in love with you & your life, more & more each day. The most challenging and yet/therefore most rewarding thing you’ll ever have to believe in is yourself.
The recent reckonings I’ve been having in my mental health journey have helped put this into perspective for me. Discovering my brain is more neurodivergent than I’d known as a child - to the tune of experiencing symptoms of Atypical Bipolarity, ADHD, and as a Highly Sensitive Person that also happens to be a High Sensation Seeker (HSP + HSS). Because I know myself so well and have been devoted to being my own best friend, news like this feels more liberating than it might’ve had I known years ago. I don’t see what doctors deem “disorders” to be anything that needs fixing, and certainly not by any drugs they’d love to pump me with. It’s my destiny to love myself unconditionally, and I learn new ways of doing that each & every day.
I used to fear losing my mind. And then I realized I’ve been mad this entire time. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Please play this 7 second video and laugh with me… 🤡🍟🧠💫
What does it mean to lose your mind? Stepping outside of the perception of yourself (Ego-Identity) & becoming childlike in the pursuit of your dreams and your creative recovery & fulfillment. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child, specifically your Inner Child.
Children remind us that perfection was achieved at conception.
Children are usually/naturally honest (sometimes brutally so).
Children show us we arrive to this planet & lifetime already worthy of all the love, attention, and care in the world.
Children love losing themselves in the moment, being fully engaged in whatever it is they’re doing - they don’t really know about the future or the past until a certain age. All that exists is the now, which is fantastic & fortunate because present moment living is love’s address 💌
Children are wild, fearless, free, and persistent.
Children are creative, curious, and adventurous.
In fact, Picasso is known to have said it took him a lifetime to learn how to paint like a child. I love that so much. It reminds me of that Bible verse..
“Putting away childish things” is how the Inner Child becomes The Inner Child. Because somewhere along the line we got the message that it was time to “grow up” and focus on more serious or mature things. This really gives me a new way to look at the “The good die young”. If what’s Good is what’s God, and we’re taught to bury those things inside in adolescence, it’s no wonder the art of creative recovery is also the act of Inner Child healing.
So, yeah, the serious work you do is important. And so are the curiosity/just-for-fun projects, passion projects, and self love quests you allow yourself to indulge in. How you take care of yourself while playing in the space between where you are & where you want to be can make all the difference in whether or not you enjoy your life.
By keeping the channel clear & the connection strong/pure to your Inner Child, you can tap into an unimpeded flow of creative energy.
Attune to the energy of True, Unconditional Love by adopting a belief in limitlessness bc love does not confine, restrict or bind (nor does it need to compare in order to appreciate).
I LOVE NY - Last month I took a much needed trip back home with the fam, where I had the time of my life enjoying the simple things I missed - I felt my Inner Child come alive in the city where the subway stations are living breathing marketing ad museums, relaxing into resonance with the heartbeat & hum of the city that never sleeps. I went clothes & shoe shopping for the first time in a loong time, having a love affair with glamour & beauty in my 3H Profection Year (ruled by Venus & the Sun in Leo) as I updated my wardrobe to match the woman I am today. ⚡️ The trip unleashed a flood of creative downloads & the most elegant solutions to actualizing my ideas were hand delivered to me by Spirit on a crystallized platter, almost as if I ordered them or something…
And so, until we meet again, I’ll leave you with this:
Want some more? I’ve been talking about this kinda stuff for a min now… Take a look at these articles from the Archive:
And if you’re feeling up for it, have a go at journaling around these themes:
Define love & then apply it to your treatment of yourself - how do they measure up?
Are you in love with the art/work you’re making? Do you love what you do on a daily basis? Would you be ok if you died tomorrow/while doing it? (God forbid) Would you be happy with what you left behind? Would you still have more dreams inside you? What might those be?
Do you trust The Universe (or your Divine Creator) to support you in your work? Do you believe God approves of/supports your creativity? Do you see your creativity as a gift from the Divine? Why/not?
Which part of the creative process do you find yourself getting caught up/stuck in & which do you spend most of your time avoiding/denying altogether? The Masculine or Feminine qualities? Do you fear sharing your baby with the world or collaborating with others on it?
Who or what kind of things do you find yourself criticizing the most? What could that be telling you about where you are in your life rn? What could it be telling you about where or who you want to be?
Who or what do you believe holds your future? Do you trust them?
Up next… we’ll explore what society might look like when creatives trust their visions enough to change the world with them.