TABLE OF CONTENTS 🔗
ALMOST ATHEIST
(dark places, sacred vows, saving graces, false flames & false prophets, embracing death)
There I was crying over the phone to my friend about feeling worthless & tired, and sick & tired of being tired — tired of feeling the weight of life & the pressure of my dreams & of being and becoming me
Tired of doing all the “works” - Inner Child Work, Shadow Work, Biz/Creative Work
Will I ever get to just live, exist, and enjoy the fruits of my labor?
I would love nothing more than to simply live my best life & make art that makes money. To lay around in leisure and be hot for a living. I knew I deserved this life, too.
But I was fresh off a romantic blunder, picking at this core wound of abandonment & worth, pulling on the threads of this insecure relationship w Spirit I had going on & being insecure in the love I’d received, conditioned as an anxious-avoidant personality
I wasn’t sure I believed in God & wasn’t sure what to believe in after that or if I believed in anything at all
And that felt really scary and dark and unstable & questionable
Me no likey.
You see…
I’m moody. Extremely moody.
And can be melodramatic if I want to…
I love too soon, too easily & too much.
I have incredibly high standards for everything in life. I expect the best out of everyone - including myself.
I feel rage when I don’t get my way.
I feel everything verrrrry deeply.
I (sometimes) even feel guilty for being so talented.
My fears are sometimes louder than my faith.
I’m a spiritualist that doesn’t believe in God on occasion.
I have an ongoing beef with my Creator because I’ve never felt truly loved by Them. (Or so I thought/think when I’m in this dark space.) And again --- rage when things don’t go my way…
I realized I got suic*dal thoughts that I wouldn’t dare act on bc they were my fanatical way of taking back control of my life, deciding how things got to go, to win in this imaginary war w Spirit (meet this maker of mine and settle things once & for all)
I expect a lot from the world bc I expect a lot from me & yeah that can lead to disappointment often, but why else would I have come here..?
& I’m harder on myself for fucking up than I am on anyone else & I’m almost never satisfied. (which is like a big deal bc I’m a Generator & Satisfaction is kinda my birthright, my Signature, my thing)
I can be proud, and self righteous.
I can be cynical & uber sensitive.
I can be stubborn & indecisive all at once.
I can fear the unknown.
I come from a long line of women engineered to settle for less than we deserve for fear there’s nothing else out there for us & from simply not knowing our true worth & value & how to get needs met in a healthy and conducive way..
I have an internal conflict that runs on repeat & I oscillate from manic to depressive & back again so fast it gives me whiplash..
& I kinda like it sometimes. Makes for quality entertainment..
I think highly of myself & I don’t feel bad about it…until I get around people that don’t like themselves so much.
My toxic trait is I love ppl I don’t trust as easily as I love & I rush the process and while I crave connection I push it away bc of the attachment style I was conditioned to have, aka anxious avoidant ✨ (iykyk)
Which is cool bc it’s usually w the wrong dudes anyway…
So I either leave before I’m left, or I hold on for too long..
But I see everything, and then I break my own heart by not listening to that inner knowing. I call in chaos when I allow the part of me that craves connection to trump the part of me that craves peace
I give too much & then I resent people for not being able to do the same.
I’m hyper vigilant & that’s bc I’ve been vulnerable with the wrong people & grew up in chaotic/unsafe environments.
I’ve been afraid of commitment because I like the freedom to change my mind (& this shows up in my work & my relationships).
The Shaleahia that makes the plans is not the Shaleahia that has to show up for those plans.
I’m either incessantly impatient or insidiously hellbent on holding out for what I want, the way I want
& I’m not picky, I’m particular.
Which means I know exactly who I am, what I want & what I like.
I love & adore & admire me. I trust me.
I'm obsessed w me
So worthless? Never that.
→ so what’s up with the brief but agonizing crack in my psyche?
I’ll call it “the One or the Other”.
The Old Age question - Am I One with The Most High or am I just one of its Other puppets?
I knew massive change was underway, and I couldn’t tell what that would look like on the other end…
I knew one thing for sure - I could believe in me. Always.
I knew when it came to me & suic*de: I’d rather get this mission over with in this lifetime. I’ve worked too hard and come too far and have done/seen/experienced too much to ever call it quits. Besides, I’d prob just come back & do it in another life…
I decided I needed to be in a secure relationship w Myself & My Creator first & foremost
To take creative control of my life and start being the cause and not just the effect.
I decided to take my own advice and become my own muse. I decided to see/make/let my dreams come true. And I decided to have one hell of a good time doing it.
Becoming more of myself each & every day.
I decided to stay with the knowing that my Source & I are One
That Surrendering to the plan the Divine has in store for me is what feels best in this moment. That I can change my mind at any moment.
And remembering that I’m destined to win. It’s not a matter of if, but when.
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly 🦋
Embracing Death (shedding skin)
One night this month, I had a reading with an intuitive that triggered some deep inner healing for me. Some of her words hit like poison daggers, and others soothed my soul like a sweet melody.
I was already in a period of grief, questioning my spirituality, yet feeling hopeful in myself, plotting how I could best support myself and planning my next moves
I’d scheduled the reading hoping to get some good news and possibly confirmation, and was open to hearing anything that could help pull me further out of the hole I was in.
I felt so seen when she picked up a sense of injustice over my life, and for Spirit wanting to acknowledge that. I didn’t love when she told me I was in survival mode from my childhood & have a Warrior spirit that’s getting in the way cus I’m like ok who made me like this, who gave me this childhood and made me an Aries South Node, SPIRIT????
She offered that there was a sense of blame - not only towards myself, second-guessing if I did anything wrong or if things could have gone any other way, but also towards Spirit, and not wanting to let the injustices I was served go.
She said something really enlightening to me, like a literal lightbulb went off inside me. She told me:
They’re a part of your story, not the whole story. - Charley Zheng (#acceptance)
It reminded me of this sentiment I picked up from Glennon Doyle that “I’m not what just happened to me, but I might be what I do next”
I may not have caused my trauma, but how was I reinforcing my own pain? Through the struggle? Through the story I tell about my life? Through controlling and being closed off to other energy the Universe wanted to send in?
“God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.” - The Serenity Prayer
I cried it out, prayed, and went to bed feeling lighter that night.
The next morning, I woke up with the word ‘Serpent’ playing over & over in my mind. I knew it meant something, and was excited to find out what.
I thought about the few dreams featuring snakes that I’d had before.
& how in the one from this year, a bunch of snakes got loose outside and one insistently wrapped itself around my arm and bit my hand just above my right thumb. It climbed up & bit, three times, and was shaken/thrown off by me, three times.
Slammed that last time.
I went about my day as usual.
A few hours after waking up and into my daily ritual, I see an email from Charley. 🐍
What’s key here is the emphasis on the roles of initiation and integration in a total transformation
For most of us, our primary caregiver/mother is the voice in our heads. The programmed one. That’s the case for me at least.
& Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother. She's great.
Yet I no longer need her to be my voice of reason. I can do that on my own.
& her tone is fickle, feeble & ferocious, which is what created the conditions for CPTSD to take root anyway…
This was about not having to carry the weight of all my past heartbreaks and let downs
& Learning to accept endings & beginnings - just because something is over doesn’t mean the experience was any less worthy of having & any less filled with love & joy & happiness/good times
DEATH GIVES TIME ALL OF ITS VALUE. IF LOVE IS CREATION AND DEATH IS DESTRUCTION, TIME IS JUST THE TERRAIN IN BETWEEN.
-Collateral Beauty
I break chains by experiencing the injustice, and not letting it stop me. Letting it fall from me like a leaf off a tree.
The art of - so what? in shedding the past:
your dad never loved you? So what? Does that mean you’re any less lovable?
their best wasn’t good enough? so what - you still deserve the best
they didn’t like your stuff? Tough tits. You loved every minute of creating it so it was worth it
they were dumb enough to hurt your feelings? and? “Bad bitches have bad days, too….Bounce back how a bad bitch always do” - Megan Thee Stallion 🔥, Anxiety 🎶
13, Death, Scorpio
One of my fave readers of all time, who also reminded me that it was me who was giving myself another chance and ensuring I had another shot at life, and to stay hardheaded & adamant about getting what I want. I’ll take anything that helps me to feel more gratitude for myself any day.
* scorpio tings ~
My Rising sign for this year (solar return yr) - I’m excited to lean into this energy in this chapter of my life. This chapter where changing my appearance = changing my life. A time of radical change & rebirth.
Receiving (GOOD) Karma, Benefits from Extreme/Drastic Change, Experiencing Emotional Intensity & Depth
I’m feeling a hair makeover and tats coming, and drastically changing my living space & situation…
Death → Rebirth
Fear doesn’t stop death, it only stops life
The falsehood of fear. How to stop being controlled by it & start using it to shift your life into your desired direction?
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
**
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”― Steve Jobs
Death is an inescapable cycle - it touches all
Everybody dies, but not everyone is reborn - you must choose to live again, to be again, to create again.
I am a human being, meant to be in perpetual becoming. If I am living bravely, my entire life will become a million deaths and rebirths.
—
The goal is to surrender, constantly, who I just was in order to become who this next moment calls me to be. I will not hold on to a single existing idea, opinion, identity, story, or relationship that keeps me from emerging new. I cannot hold too tightly to any riverbank. I must let go of the shore in order to travel deeper and see farther. Again and again and then again. Until the final death and rebirth. Right up until then.
-Glennon Doyle, “Untamed”
Choose your next chapter. Direct your life.
killing your darlings…
The ultimate Self Love is found in attending the funeral of every version of you — thanking them for getting you where you are today, paying your respects, and laying to rest their individual woes, wants, emotions, memories, ideas/thoughts & behaviors so that you may move on into the new..
So that you may redefine, reimagine, & recover your true purpose & paint the good & beautiful picture that is your dream life
So, who (which versions of me) had to die so that I may live?
So that I may see myself in the light of the Divine?
The “Too Nice for her own/Good Girl”, People Pleaser, Humble Hottie, Hidden Gem Artist
The Golden Path is a path into the deep mystery. It is a path of soul, in which your daily living becomes your greatest muse…
It asks you to contemplate some profound and sometimes painful questions.
In essence, the Golden Path describes the organic flow of life when it follows rhythms without resistance…
This is the purpose of the Gene Keys - to assist individuals, relationships and communities in realigning their lives back into a wider harmony with creation itself…
As we tread the paths of our lives, so we write our destinies. The further we move from our essential nature, the more we and those around us suffer. And this suffering is vital to us. It keeps reminding us of the simplest path, the path of least resistance, the path that is naturally ours. It has been said that the hardest and easiest thing in the world is simply to be yourself.
-Richard Rudd, The Voyage - Treading The Golden Path, Activation Sequence
🦚👑💅🏽🫦🎂🧁✨
IN THIS STORY…
♥️ THE YEAR OF THE DEVIL & THE LOVERS (lessons in toxic love & sacred mirrors, original sin & outwitting the devil, awakening from the dream, the ego/evil eye & the inner child)
♣️ HEAVEN ON EARTH & THE HOLY WHORE (wholeheartedness, sacred work ethic & ethos, using rage & righteousness to build heaven on earth - like a virgin)
♦️ SIN → SALVATION → SUPERPOWERS (sin through a diff lens, creative contrition & visionary dreams, a formula for supernatural gifts&talents, being born again)
♠️ SAINT SOVEREIGN: THE GOOD LIFE (seducing the universe, how to actually live your best life, sanctity through self worship — your highness, your grace, your majesty, a high value woman reframe)
Transmuting Suffering (Overcoming Evil, being born again, whole)
THE YEAR OF THE DEVIL & THE LOVERS
(lessons in toxic love & sacred mirrors, original sin & outwitting the devil, awakening from the dream, the ego/evil eye & the inner child)
EYES WIDE SHUT
I remember being in a room full of sheep, and deciding to plot my escape.
I looked around for the bathroom & then walked through what seemed to be a department store, and although I could feel their eyes on me like lasers and I could feel them sensing I was out of place,
I kept walking towards the door, and picked up my pace as it began to shut in front of my eyes. I reached the door and pushed it open…
*
I was outside in the blazing sun. To my right was a raging black dog barking and running right at me. To the left, the ass of an ox was coming out of some sort of machine like a car in reverse. And just as I turned my head back around, I saw a baseball flying like a bullet with my name on it. In a heartbeat, I jumped up and dodged it.
As I got closer to the fence, I was turned around by these 2 girls who pulled my arm and grabbed my body and tried to pull me back inside. I clawed their faces with my nails.
And then I thought to myself, I don’t have to deal with this. I can just wake up.
And so I did.
Little did I know, that dream was forecasting the themes of my love life and personal development journey this year.
*
Welcome to 2022. A 6 year Universally, and also Personally for me. Ruled by Venus, planet of love, romance, opulence, beauty, luxury and material abundance. Ruler of & Represented by The Lovers. Shadow energy, The Devil (XV/15=6).
“And so it is, that both the Devil and the Angelic Spirit present us with objects of desire to awaken our power of choice”
-Rumi
My birth card pairs. And since 6 is my Life Path number as well, I’m calling it a Homecoming Year.
One of my favorite parts about this depiction of the Devil card is the two aren’t even tightly chained to this podium. They could easily free themselves at any time if they truly wanted to…
But something is keeping them there.
It’s the illusion of being tied to something. They’re chained to each other by the illusive fear of loss.
There’s this idea being pressed of choosing to be whole vs settling for “your other half”
A warning that looking for anything outside of you to complete you will only entrap you.
& I promise you — all birth card pairs are not this exact in visual symmetry lol they aren’t mirrors of each other. Spirit is just funny like that. I deal with a lot of dualistic energy in my life, as you can tell.
With the Devil, everything looks fine on paper & well on the surface, but underneath the facade is nothing like what you asked for & things aren’t as they appear to be. You will be asked to sacrifice a true desire for fulfilment.
When it comes to the Lovers, you won’t have to compromise on the real thing - God has all that you asked for & more. You can look that gift horse in the mouth.
Temptation is the devil in disguise …
The Devil can only sell you something (a dream) if you don’t know who you are, have forgotten what it is you truly desire & disconnected from what you naturally deserve.
One who is full loathes honey from the comb, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.
- Proverb 27:7 🍯
Lucifer was/is a fallen angel, afterall.
Which is why even though he can dangle things you may want in front of you, he now has to prop himself up on a false pedestal to appear to be on your level — whereas the lovers are naturally uplifted by Angelic spirits ordaining the union, the devil’s negative presence of energy drains & diminishes what the Divine naturally replenishes
Our Lovers reflect the inner wounds that softly call out for our healing touch & the gifts we bestow upon the world when we bare our souls and express the love that we are inside
*
Our Devils reflect the darkest corners of our inner shadow & the desires waiting to be excavated by our brave hearts
Getting in touch & connecting w your dreams, your innermost desires & fantasies & fancies — will be paramount on this journey.
A PALM READING IN AC
Lessons learned, lovers & selves lost
*Alchemizing lukewarm/breadcrumb love into personal fulfillment, satisfaction, and creative juice & activating Thrival mode *
Last year I spent my birthday with family in Atlantic City. I wanted to do something that I’d never done before so I got a massage on the boardwalk and stopped at one of those psychic palm reading spots.
I sat down in front of a mature blonde woman with piercing blue eyes, and gave her my hand to read one of my palms. In a soft raspy voice, she told me the love of my life would have green eyes and be very attractive, and that he was on his way to me *v* soon. And that this one was the one to stay.
I walked away from that reading feeling so excited about what was to come.
Unaware that without discernment, that very same forecast would lead to me fortune through misfortune, accepting bad behavior from several overgrown boys with pretty green eyes & even prettier masks
The most recent one? He was 6’2” with green eyes, high cheekbones, pouty lips and smooth skin.
He was born in the year of the Chinese Ox.
He made me laugh & we talked about & shared nerdy things together.
He told me “you strike me as a lover that just so happens to be a genius” & as I write that in retrospect,yes while true, that was v “Crazy Stupid Love” pick up line of him 🥴
We looked *so* good together in photos. But his dick was too small for me
And, like, I get that that’s not something he can control per say, but he bragged about how big it was (I knew it was a red flag then, I was simply in denial 😤)
Bc I like girth & although his dick was rendered useless from the beginning since I’m celibate af & only f*ing myself, I was simply disappointed, but also happy we got that out of the way..
(In fact, earlier this year Spirit let me know a gorgeous man w hazel eyes, a chiseled face, and salt & pepper beard — the other animal from my dream, a man born in the year of the Chinese Dog — wasn’t for me with the same penis signal + plus a jarring bald spot in the center of his head & a nasty proclivity for narcissism - it’s not shallow to not compromise on physical attributes — Spirit knows me & you the real thing will be 100% the real deal…)
& When I felt my most empowered in my feminine, he was intimidated
He kept referring to himself as ‘daddy’ and tried to tell me what shoes to try on for him in pics. As if.
It turned him on, too, bc he had this fantasy of paying for a trophy wife’s lifestyle he couldn’t yet afford (his words) — though he later claimed to not be a fan when the dust settled, labeling it “transactional”. Big woop.
And when he expressed ideas around questioning his sexuality, and I asked him what his intentions were with me/wth we were doing dating if he wasn’t sure, he, of his own volition, decided he’d give me an answer & even gave me a specific date for when I could expect it.
Then he disappeared for a day & a half, the due date came & went, and the first words out of his mouth after “hi how r you doin” when he calls me are- :
“So..
*{pregnant pause}*
…I’m not monogamous
*{deep sigh}*”
Woe is me, yet another love gone sour.
Bc I definitely was/am (monogamous).
I had to focus on my breathing bc all I could think was “I knew it” & all I could feel was rage for him being a day late & a dollar short and thinking it was ok.
Later that same day, after I expressed my displeasure with his inconsistent communication, he told me my abandonment wound wasn’t his problem -
was he wrong, no. was he a dick, yes.
In the very same message where he also told me to shut up bc my being upset wasn’t a big deal — I was just being a young & prideful Leo, & invalidated yes every other experience & feeling I was having at the time
I wondered why he flew from Cali to MD to court me over a 3 day weekend...
I even let this fool sleep in my house when his flight back home got canceled.
He was in my bed!!!
He was so similar to the others I found myself wondering if these dudes were reading from a script or if we’re really all just playing archetypal roles for one another, cogs/oxen in a machine…
🔥
Enlightenment is waking up from the dream…
I knew he was trouble when he walked in
I was dating based on potential and the fantasy I dreamed up in my mind & I knew it
It wasn’t love, it was passion/lust & infatuation - did I like him or did I just enjoy him & like that he liked me?
I gaslit myself before they ever did & allowed myself to see them in the best light even when it made me feel sick or I knew deep down something was off bc I was certain “this time was different” 🙄
Yet however trivial, I couldn’t deny I was still dealing with the hurt & pain of coming to terms with the truth that someone I’d convinced myself to believe could be in my life forever would never be in it again — (cus I don’t do the let’s be friends thing & I don’t go back to bad habits, my block hand is way strong) — & that I found myself on the sofa watching Netflix, grieving a connection that’d ended too much like the others…
Maryam also mentioned in the 2022 reflection section of her 2023 Energetic Forecast that we as a collective are evolving beyond the elementary understanding of the law of attraction where like attracts like bc some ppl are attracted to you simply bc you have something in you they feel could heal them
& being able to look into our soul partners as sacred mirrors to see the parts of ourselves where we are out of integrity and not fully showing up in alignment or as our truest selves
You can lie to the eyes/mind bc it’s a machine of the matrix. You can’t lie to the soul bc it knows no illusion
Another Sacred Mirror of mine came from a Tweet that said something like if you’re attracting emotionally unavailable ppl its bc you’re codependent; you don’t need anyone to love you
It’s all smoke & mirrors → look within, feel within
“Anytime you look around/in a book for the truth it will deceive you, you are the truth” - I believe Marianne Williamson taught me this one.
This year dealt w asking myself the hard/tough questions & being brave enough to answer them, confronting my fears & exorcising my demons & practicing compassionate self confrontation, big time
“When we forgive, we set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner we set free is us.”
-Lewis B. Smedes, Author of Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve
My choice in men reflected my hidden sinister fear of commitment, a willingness to break my own heart to avoid the necessary work required for longterm fulfillment (Impatience being a GK Shadow of mine), and exposed a serious need for better boundaries & deeper than the flesh self respect
I could no longer waste my time with people not worth my time
I had to swallow the hard pill that I’m a no. 6 life path who (seems to be) unlucky in love
—But I’m not bad at it, I was made for it, I’m amazing at it & I thrive on it
& that also makes me excited for what’s ahead… I’ve yet to experience my great (romantic) love, how cool is that?
I had to learn that my love was valuable, my energy & attention & nurturing presence are valuable, & to be more stingy with them
To show more grace to myself & less to them (remembering to not reward bad behavior)
To favor Long Term Gain over Immediate Satisfaction
To be easily pleased (satisfied) & not so easily impressed
Cus in reality it wasn’t that deep that homeboy flew across the country to see me bc men have flown across seas — from london to nyc, & he prolly needed material for his script, anyway 💅🏽…
So I decided to fall in love with my life again, to play the main role…and to appreciate all the love & beauty that was all around me (playdates with my niece, text convos w the fam, standing in my closet admiring my clothes & planning a renovation in my mind) - I feel like the luckiest girl alive
And that ignited something within my creativity and laid out the sickest symphony of ideas stringing together how I want to end the chapter of my 20s over the next 3 years, starting now, of course.
I’m proud that I faced this one instead of running away like I used to when I saw my father on the street. That I confronted my demons, refused to avoid conflict any longer and spoke up for myself, deciding that speaking my truth & coming from a place of love/centered in self beats pretending to be unbothered for fear of looking stupid, weak or - gasp - human.
Will deff be bitchier next time, tho..
+ I feel empowered telling my story the way I want to, rewriting history & shaping my future in the process…
What they don’t tell you is how wrong it can feel to do what’s right for you, especially after fawning and settling for so many years.
“We usually think of breakthroughs as ecstatic moments that elevate us from a lower level to a higher. And they do. But there’s a paradox. In that moment, the epiphany feels like hell…an epiphany trashes us. It exposes us and leaves us naked. We see ourselves plain, and it’s not a pretty picture.
The essence of epiphanies is the stripping away of self-delusion.
We’ve lost something, yes. A cherished self-delusion must be abandoned, and this hurts.
But what we have gained is the truth. Our bullshit falls away. The scales drop from our eyes. In that moment we have two options:
We can reconstitute our bullshit.
Or we can turn pro.”
-Steven Pressfield, “Turning Pro”
When deconditioning and living by design, you “go pro” in the easiest/most effortless & healthiest way for you possible (I want to exist for a living, take the road of least resistance bc has the least existence & the only others on it are weirdos too, that’s why it’s scary)
Some things to remember for the road:
-Never settling for less than what you deserve & want/asked for
-Always choosing self
-Finding wholeness within
Ep 6 of The Queen’s Gambit, Alice tells a little Beth “it takes a strong woman to stay by herself, in a world where people will settle for anything just to say they have something”
I know a lot of men/ppl can’t get past my physical appearance & beauty, but also I’m a Daughter of the Sun so some ppl truly can’t ever see me or look directly at me, and I understand that…
I don’t need anyone to understand me. Or like me.
*
It was a lesson in not needing the existence of another to prove my worth or worthiness of love (which is to say — want what you want, just don’t need it in order to validate anything as truth)
Because today, while I’m more willing than ever to be seen in all my glory, I’m no longer looking for anyone to see me - I see myself. I clap for myself. I’m putting the masterpiece that is me on a pedestal…
God snapped when They made me. Okay?
It’s my energy I fall in love with on these dates. Me getting ready in the shower, dancing & putting on makeup in the mirror, dressing the temple that is my body for the day...
I had to remember I’m the juice, the sauce, the prize - it’s my energy, it’s me
I learned to be my own best friend. I learned it doesn’t fucking matter what happens or what cards I’ve been dealt - I know I’m gonna win. Bc I play by my own rules.
Do you believe you’re worthy of nice things? Or do you question them upon arrival (look a gift horse in the mouth), claiming it’s too good to be true? Do you ignore red flags and gaslight yourself bc you want to see the good in others?
"…Victory goes to the people who know what they want and are determined to have it. They have mastered the habit of drifting. They have definite policies, definite plans, and definite objectives. Their opposition, which may outnumber them very greatly, has no chance against them because the opposition has no plan, no purpose, no policy except that of drifting along, hoping that something may turn up to help them.”
-Outwitting The Devil, Napoleon Hill
EGO & ORIGINAL SIN
Ego is no more than this: identification with form, which primarily means thought forms. If evil has any reality - and it has a relative, not an absolute reality - this is also its definition: complete identification with form - physical forms, thought forms, emotional forms. This results in a total unawareness of my connectedness with the whole, my intrinsic oneness with every “other” as well as the Source. This forgetfulness is original sin, suffering, delusion. When this delusion of utter separateness underlies and governs whatever I think, say, and do, what kind of world do I create? To find the answer to this, observe how humans relate to each other, read a history book, or watch the news on television tonight.
-Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth
Ego = Evil (the opposition)
The Ego I: Illusive blocks to your blessings
Imitation, Indifference, Indecision
A Virtual Mentor of mine, Chris Do of The Futur, once said that people struggle with making decisions because the root of decision is cide = to kill. You have to kill off all your other options
& You disrespect yourself when you deny your divinity and trade your free will in for the whim of others or trade in your originality for the safety of familiarity
Everyone is just projecting, painting a picture for the world to see based on how they see the world & how they see themselves. Ask yourself what is it you see?
*
It’s possible to master your mind from a place of love rather than deception or by demonizing it
Sin is anything one does or thinks which causes one to be unhappy!
-Napoleon Hill’s Devil, Outwitting The Devil
All that’s known is the past, the future is unknown & unwritten, written in the now - reclaim your energy from the past & past hurts & pains
The Devil is busy & an idle mind is his playground - fill your mind with what’s NEW, BEAUTIFUL, GOOD & TRUE
Reparenting, Rewiring, Remembering - THE INNER CHILD REVOLUTION
Purification, Innocence, Boundaries
“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood” - Marisa Peer & Richard Bandler, the co-founder of NLP (neurolinguistic programming)
I appreciated hearing that so much. I’ve been known to get offended & triggered by blanket statements about how good in the hood childhood was
& Don’t get me wrong — I was blessed with a dope home surrounded by family and had a lot of lovely things and exciting experiences…
Still, ‘happy’ isn’t a word I’d normally use to describe it or me as a kid
Some of us are still busy reparenting, rewiring, and remembering here…
“Got treasures in my mind, but couldn’t open up my own vault
My childlike creativity, purity, and honesty
Is honestly being crowded by these grown thoughts
Reality is catching up with me
Taking my Inner Child, I’m fighting for custody
With these responsibilities that they entrusted me
As I look down at my diamond-encrusted piece…”
-Ye, “Power” 🎶
Inner Child Healing is the key to unleashing liberation around creativity, love, feelings of safety, security, worth & value, self appreciation, gratitude for life, the ability to dream big & even bigger, to establish loving boundaries etc… (Supercharged Healing/Salvation Modality)
I invite you to reclaim a sense of play, exploration, wonder & awe, curiosity, innocence and inspiration as you approach the revisioning & restructuring of the fabrics of your life
Because The Inner Child = The Inner Artist
& What I’ve learned about that is,…
The/Your Inner Child doesn’t need you to protect them from falling, they need you to catch them if & when they do & to provide the safety, structure, care, and nurturing support for them to try again and go higher/explore & expand their capabilities & dig into their interests (things my niece True taught me lol)
They need a healthy level of independence & interdependence or space & attachment
My Inner Child is adamant about ‘Protect Profess Provide’ being one of the most effective ways of loving me, and even with that as a prerequisite for partnership, it was time to start taking myself (and my goals) seriously because…
The Inner Child needs to know she can trust you (themselves) & that you’ll keep your word & do what you say you’re gonna do
Wants to know that she/they matter & mean something (to you)
That it’s ok to have big feelings and to speak up & stand up for themselves & that their feelings matter
Little Me, Big Life, Big Dreams
I remembered that I had dreams of being a star/in the spotlight as a kid, then either talked myself out of it before I tried or decided to play it small and be BTS & in the shadows
* Ballet Dancer * Figure Skater * High Fashion Model * Fashion Designer * Teen Beauty Pageant Queen * Actress
And while my interests could change as easily as my mood, I always knew I wanted to be rich, that I wanted to be doing something that I loved and that was bigger than me, and that I wanted to be the boss of me.
The 6 year is also about creative visionary pursuits, and cleaning your lens so you can see things through the eyes of a Child
I decided that Beauty is a good enough purpose & mission to pursue. My Libra North Node says so. + Being in my 5H of children & creativity, I was born to feel younger the older I get. It’s ok for me to let loose, let myself be a little mischievous in the name of fun, to prioritize glamour and naps…
Know yourself. Know your true worth. Keep your word (to yourself)
“I unbecame a woman who believed that another would complete me when I decided that I was born complete.”
-Glennon Doyle, UNTAMED
→ what’s your attachment style & how does it affect your relationship to your creativity?
EARTH ANGELS UNITE 👼🏽💫👼🏼
HEAVEN ON EARTH & THE HOLY WHORE
(wholeheartedness, sacred work ethic & ethos, using rage & righteousness to build heaven on earth - like a virgin)
THE HOLY WHORE - WILD, FREE, LOOSE WOMEN
I am the first and the last. I am she who is honored and she who is scorned. I am the whore and the holy woman. I am the wife and the virgin. I am the bride and the bridegroom. I am she, the Lord.
-The Thunder, Perfect Mind 1:5-10
The Divine Feminine is wild, free & lush like a field of flowers…
The Holy Whore represents the absorption of the Shadow & Light aspects of Feminine Energy to return to (or re-member) wholeness & divinity, as well as
The marriage of the Anima & Animus within the psyche (The Archetype of Life + The Archetype of Meaning = creating a meaningful life) - a divine union between equal opposites in the Subconscious
Where we see One in the Other (like the yin-yang symbol) rather than split in half like the concepts of ‘harmony’ vs ‘balance’, respectively
Her superpower is wielding creative energy correctly - in the direction of her desires & what adds value to & enriches her life
Sacral (sexual, creative, life force) energy - as a Gen, it’s important for me to only do what lights me up. When operating correctly, it refuels me endlessly - pouring into what pours into you becomes the recipe
She calls for harmonizing the gifts of Linear + Cyclical energy to get shit done & make it fun (DM&DF) (and make change sustainable)
The Holy Whore says “fuck you, pay me” and advises us to use what we got to get what we want (“The Players Club”, iykyk)
The Holy Whore does something STRANGE for some CHANGE
She calls for Embodiment and Integrity and Sanctity
She calls for empowered action.
—
Is prostitution a product of the patriarchy or an ancient emblem of woman empowerment & financial freedom with a side of sexual sovereignty?
Either way, it ain’t the oldest job in the book for no reason… it all boils down to a trade of intrinsic/perceived value in goods, services, time, and money
It’s a business like no other, and yet runs like any would - with marketing and brand personas, supplies, travel, risk, reward…
I had the best boundaries when I was a Sex Worker. My peers praised me for it.
It’s because I knew I was an experience. & It’s a privilege to be in my energy.
I also went from being sexually repressed to sexually liberated and open
Cus if you’re gonna get sexualized by the opposite sex/world, might as well get paid for it…
I wholeheartedly believe in salvation through SERVICE, in channeling sacred energy into the collective, for the greater good of humanity & the world. And that’s also the wisdom of ancient history…
“in the past, prostitution and spirituality were one and the same…communing sexually with workers and healers was communing with The Divine.” - Sex Workers Outreach Project USA
“those priestesses of yore, who fused the sacred and the profane, sharing their bodies in the service of goddesses…” - Shruti Kothari
“From our present day perspective, prostitution is viewed as a shameful, dishonorable profession. However, in ancient Mesopotamia from 3000 BCE to 900 BCE, sacred prostitution performed by women in temple spaces was revered as practices essential to the annual renewal of fertility rites. These women were able to wield considerably more power than their domestic counterparts, due to their honorable reputations closely linked with the cultural ideology in ancient Mesopotamia. Through various myth texts, legal codes, and written correspondences, it is evident that priestesses performing sacred prostitution duties within the temple retain much more ideological, sexual, legal, and economic power compared to women working inside the domestic sphere.” - Christine Qin
*temple priestesses*:
From Egyptian pharaohs to Roman emperors, men ruled and dominated much of the ancient world. But it was not always this way. “Sacred Sites: Temples of the Priestesses” explores how, at different times and in different places, women played a dynamic role in ancient society…
Their importance in ceremonies and rituals gave them prestige in society. But in time, male gods replaced goddesses as the preeminent deities, and men took ownership of shrines and monuments…
During this era {the New Stone Age or Neolithic}, many peoples worshipped the earth as a divine mother goddess, suggesting that women held power and status…
But the days of the earth goddess were numbered. With the coming of the Bronze and Iron Ages she was supplanted by new gods who lived in the sky….
But far to the south, priestesses controlled the vast wealth of ancient Egypt’s greatest sacred site. And in the fabled rock-cut city of Petra, women rose to positions of extraordinary power – especially power over money…
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The Christian Church felt threatened by women and feared that the Devil would use their sexual allure as a weapon. Experts reveal how bishops and priests scapegoated women for all sorts of misfortunes… with shocking and horrific consequences.
-tilefilms site
Gene Key 61
Psychosis – Inspiration – Sanctity
The Holy of Holies
“If we have this Gene Key, our life is a contemplation of death. We must not turn away from this work. It will fill us with life. The answers will come. The memory of the beyond will return in time. We must listen inwardly for the music of life, and let it move us in creative work.” – Richard Rudd, 64 Ways, genekeys.com
| Psychosis - THE PRESSURE OF WHY
| Inspiration - GOD IS PRESSURE
| Sanctity - ENTERING THE UNKNOWABLE
GK 61 is my Neptune placement, sitting in my 8H of death, transformation, power, and other people’s money (also traditionally ruled by Scorpio though not in my chart) - representing my spiritual work in this lifetime
I love that the Gift for this Gene Key is Inspiration. I recently put into words that the way I get into creative mode the easiest and stay in flow the longest is by being inspired by whatever it is I’m working on, I mean LIT UP about it
And that pressure I mentioned earlier, about being me & having dreams as big as I do…
I love that the I Ching for this GK is “INNER TRUTH”, and states:
“Inner Truth moves even pigs and fish, and leads to good fortune. There will be advantage in crossing the stream. There will be advantage in being firm and correct.”
- INTENTION AND ELATION -
Sanctity is the Clarity of Bliss
Inspiration is Intuitive Vitality
Psychosis is the Unease of Dissatisfaction
The depths are not affected by the dancing mind. Sanctuary is kept alive by the constant breath of Life
-I Ching as per genekeyes.com, Richard Rudd’s amazing site
A NEW HEAVEN & A NEW EARTH
“Heaven is not a location but refers to the inner realm of consciousness… Earth, on the other hand, is the outer manifestation in form, which is always a reflection of the inner. Collective human consciousness and life on our planet are intrinsically connected. “A new heaven” is the emergence of a transformed state of human consciousness, and “a new earth” is its reflection in the physical realm.”
“If the structures of the human mind remain unchanged, we will always end up re-creating fundamentally the same world, the same evils, the same dysfunction.”
-ECKHART TOLLE, A NEW EARTH (both)
A world where we consciously uplift & praise the Divine Feminine and balance the scales of this masculine-heavy society to find ultimate harmony
-Make it Reign-
WE GOT THE WAP & BDE
Big Dreams Energy
Wellness Abundance Prosperity
We’re all capable of giving ourselves heaven and earth..
The Art of Impossible teaches the art of turning curiosity → passion, and passion + purpose = patient profit
Realize you are carrying in your own pockets the matches which the fires of adversity are being touched off, and find, too, that the water with which those fires can be finally extinguished is at your own command in great abundance... Create a definite plan, Engage the aid of nature's law of hypnotic rhythm, and use the asset of time to assist you in reaching your greatest success
🔥💧♟️💫⏳💰
-Napoleon Hill, Outwitting The Devil
I was reminded of my responsibility & task of conserving my energy for what is ready to receive it, and channeling this desire to connect into a sacred calling (accepting that it’s natural and perfectly fine) & taking my sacred work seriously, taking my dreams seriously
To take complete ownership of projects and re-instill the belief in my full capability to make shit happen, belief in one’s own resolution to win
Necessary Evils -
Ideal Self Image, discomfort in art & idea doulaship, Alter Ego work, BETTER JUDGEMENT (discernment), doing hard things
being willing to get uncomfortable to make the art of your dreams a reality
changing the way you see yourself & your life to align with the way you want to feel
taking responsibility for your healing & thriving in community/good company
making decisions rooted in your knowing of who you are, what you deserve & what love is
using your unique gifts & talents & perspective to paint a picture so beautiful for the world to see
learning when & how to respond to life & live in flow
RATED R - RAGE & RIGHTEOUSNESS (of the Divine Feminine)
I love to allow myself access to sacred rage & I have the Gene Key for Justice, which lends me a sense of Righteousness - If I’m angry, there’s prob a damn good reason. My old therapist called it access to anger, and really it’s just about access to all emotions without shame or judgement for self, for feeling (emotional waves & depths, allowing yourself to feel w/e tf it is you’re feeling usually helps).
This is a BAPTISM BY WATER 🌊 - ultimately creating harmony within
A member of my Invisible Council gave me some potent advice - they said ‘turn Outrage into Artform’…
“I learned that my anger never meant that there was something wrong with me. It meant that there was something wrong. Out there. … I stopped being a quiet peacekeeper and started being a loud peacemaker. My anger was good…
I had been deceived. The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that there was something wrong with me. I quit spending my life trying to control myself and began to trust myself. We only control what we don’t trust. We can either control ourselves or love ourselves, but we can’t do both. Love is the opposite of control. Love demands trust.
What the world needs is more women who have quit fearing themselves and started trusting themselves.
What the world needs is masses of women who are entirely out of control.
-Glennon Doyle, UNTAMED
“To me, faith is not a public allegiance to a set of outer beliefs, but a private surrender to the inner Knowing.” …
“For me, living in faith means allowing to burn all that separates me from the Knowing so that one day I can say: I and the Mother are one.”
-Glennon Doyle, UNTAMED
That’s what I call BAPTISM BY FIRE 🔥 - The INNER DAIMON is this seed of brilliance lying within you, waiting to be ignited and fed and freed, if only you’d let it.
While I joke that my Celibacy revirginized me, the true definition of VIRGIN is: a woman unto herself (unbetrothed)
I vowed not to marry myself to any system, idea, or person that sought to diminish my light or stifle my power…
Self love means that I have a relationship with myself built on trust and loyalty. I trust myself to have my own back, so my allegiance is to the voice within. I’ll abandon everyone else’s expectations of me before I’ll abandon myself. I’ll disappoint everyone else before I’ll disappoint myself. I’ll forsake all others before I’ll forsake myself.
Me and myself: We are till death do us part.
-UNTAMED, Glennon Doyle
SIN → SALVATION → SUPERPOWERS
(sin through a diff lens, creative contrition & visionary dreams, a formula for supernatural gifts&talents, being born again)
SIN
To sin means to miss the mark, as in to miss the point of human existence. It means to live unskillfully, blindly, and thus to suffer and cause suffering.
-Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth
My favorite definition ☝🏽
→ Sin, an Ancient Greek Archery term
The Wikipedia definition:
sin is a transgression against divine law
“In Buddhist thinking the whole universe, men as well as gods, are subject to a reign of law. Every action, good or bad, has an inevitable and automatic effect in a long chain of causes, and effect that is independent of the will of any deity. Even though this may leave no room for the concept of ‘sin’ in the sense of an act of defiance against the authority of a personal god, Buddhists speak of ‘sin’ when referring to transgressions against the universal moral code.”
-Christoph von Fürer-Haimendorf, Ethnologist
It is a sin to permit one’s mind to be dominated by negative thoughts of envy, greed, fear, hatred, intolerance, vanity, self-pity, or discouragement, because these states of mind lead to the habit of drifting…
It is a sin to accept from life anything one does not want because that indicates unpardonable neglect to use the mind
-Napoleon Hill’s Devil, Outwitting The Devil
Yeah never settle for less than you deserve, that’s how the devil tempts you to drift (aka run on autopilot) - be * particular * in what you want & ask for from the universe & life, and then be * patient * as you await its arrival
Sin is just Shadow energy
Hell is accepting a reality other than what was intended
It’s drifting, unknowingly being in your Shadow & acting from that place - reactivity
We visit the shadows, we do not live in them
SALVATION
The Salvation is a challenge & an invitation to choose differently, do & think & behave & feel differently
Separate from the madness of the maya. It’s as simple as 1, 2, 3,…4
Make shit without losing your shit by making these agreements w yourself
CREATIVE CONTRITION
When I leave this earth, I wanna leave everything that’s in me (creatively) here
So I’m channeling this inner desire to connect into a sacred calling.
Engaging in creation for creation’s sake - the autotelic personality
When you give life to your dreams & desires, you live more fully as a result. Because the more you bet on yourself, believe in yourself, trust & have faith in the universe & the validity of your vision, the things that felt far away before don’t seem so out of reach anymore. The impossible becomes the easily attainable.
→ Sacred Work from The Brilliance Blueprint
USE YOUR SUPERPOWERS ⚡
Lion/Leo is the Heart Chakra & the Ego, the SUN (cus you shine like one) = the superpower of Mind Heart coherence - strength card ♾️ in le tarot, the sacred & profane, beastly & the divine, the inner child & creativity, passion & fire
The lion - courage, brave heart, pride, confidence
That ex lover of mine called me Big Dick Leo I guess cus I know I’m the shit (also my Masculine & Feminine energy are *very* balanced)
& How a room radiates around me (like the sun) when I pour love into others & simply show up in my light
SUPERPOWERS are God Given Gifts you use to Serve the world
*
Simplicity & Superpowers - noticing the Divine working through you by observing the mundane - what do you naturally do so well you prob forget you do it on a daily basis - Supernatural Seeking
Like one of my Gifts, Orchestration, your gifts & talents prob model something (a quality) in the creator/divine
Open your eyes & SEE - (for) yourself, what you have in front of you, your gifts, your soul - eyes are windows to the soul
& the gifts of the Clairs/your intuition’s special superpower - above IMG is like clairvoyance; clairsentience, the gift of knowing & clarity (claircognizance), being a channel/portal for divine wisdom etc…
*
SUPER SIMPLE → SUPERCHARGED⚡️
Simple Structures & Systems open up the window to Supercharging your Capabilities (your Gifts & Talents & Skills)
When you do less you end up doing more than you could have ever imagined
Complex is not kind to the mind.
Simplicity implies focus & surrender to flow - which only allows the Divine to assist you even more
Simple is kind, simplicity divine 🪄
The SIN → SUPERPOWER formula
shadow + light = superpower
Ex. curator + creator = producer
I’ve told you before about that Teen Vogue quiz I took as a kid that labeled me more of a curator than a creator and scarred my young heart…
I’ve had to reclaim my creativity / identity as a creative being - this journey began around 2018 & got heavy around 2019
I’ve also accepted that yeah, I am a pretty damn amazing curator. I have a good eye & great taste, and I always have links & IMGs
These two talents together mean I’m the ultimate producer (that’s also my Pearl line in the Gene Keys lol) - pulling together resources to tell a story, painting a picture with an original perspective, being well resourced from within & my network (2/4 in HD)
Your perceived flaws/shadow energies = sin
This is a process of ABSORPTION ⚡️
Taking everything you find/found it hard to love or accept about yourself & seeing how they can be your greatest gifts
Sensitivity is a (my) superpower..
Lazy → energy efficient, someone who prioritizes self/wellness, values rest & saving energy (sustainability/energy efficient)
Archetypes help you heal, reclaim & own parts of yourself (discovering I had a Sidereal Taurus 🌑 helped me w embracing the above 👆🏽)
What’s Selfish for me is actually Selfless bc of my Incarnation Cross of Contagion & the 8th GK in my Radiance placement - by existing, by living my truth & enjoying my life I inspire people to want to do the same
My Hypervigilance Helps me read a room - I’m always aware of my surroundings
"I believe, that if we understood ourselves better, we would damage ourselves less.”
-James Baldwin, “The Creative Process”
SAINT SOVEREIGN: THE GOOD LIFE
(seducing the universe, how to actually live your best life, sanctity through self worship — your highness, your grace, your majesty, a high value woman reframe)
Psst…
I’ll let ya in on a little secret.
You are your number one asset for getting the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Everything else is a bonus. Or a tool.
Manifestation is as simple as setting an intention (like to feel loved by God) and then aligning yourself with the energy of that wish (love).
That’s it.
& by doing so/as a bonus, you make all the other healthy spiritual hygiene stuff necessary for effortless elevation (like expressing gratitude & remaining open to possibilities, getting out of the way, etc…) easier & almost automatic.
The rest happens on account of this being a self organizing universe full of self organizing creatures (including yourself) — a universe that is ready, willing, able, and happy to help you live your best life & is always responding to you
There’s also an instant payoff bc you’re already feeling how you just said you wanna feel!!! & you seem to be attracting the help & resources & opportunities & ideas that are perfect for you & support your mission (aha & omg moments) left & right
The Universe wants to catch you having a good time, focused on feeling good
That shit’s attractive. You’re magnetic af. The Universe likey. & So it gives you more.
And also you see more. You recognize opportunities more easily and see solutions where there weren’t any before. You find more things to be grateful for and feel good about.
And since feeling good is feeling god & is now your number one priority, you might as well take care of number one, yes?
I call this taking care of you while TCB.
→ If you’re ready to work with the Divine to co create your best life & set out to be the best co-creator possible - say, “okay, Spirit, show me how GOOD it can GET?”
I’m telling you now, it just gets better and better…
During a dark night of the soul, resist the urge to do anything rash from a place of fear
Know that GOOD will always triumph over EVIL
Allow your faith to be BIGGER than your fears…
And know that the best part about a setback is that the COMEUPPANCE is always real.
“For a Saint is just a Sinner who fell down & got up”
-Donnie McClurkin, “We Fall Down” 🎶
Welcome to The Good Life, where trouble is a bubble in a champagne glass 🥂🍾
Where everyday becomes a celebration of you & life & love
Where dreams & reality are one in the same…
And where you can see God’s hand all up in/throughout your life
Surrounded by nice things, you’re reminded that the world is your oyster (& you can have anything in it)
And with so much at your disposal, you still choose love, kindness, & a life devoted to something — to a higher (in terms of vibration, not as in hierarchy) & greater good - leaving your offerings at the altar of life
A life where you allow yourself to be really GOOD at what you do
& also know that it’s not what you do, but who you are that truly matters
So you no longer have to hustle to feel worthy,
Knowing that you serve your purpose just by existing & yet still that you’re greater & more important than any one role you serve here on Earth (your purpose isn’t your only value and the whole is greater than the sum)
Basking in the ambiance that is your bliss, feeling yourself
I’m really tryna make it more than what it is, cus Everybody dies, but not everybody lives - Drake, “Moment For Life” - Nicki Minaj)
→ How do we keep the champagne flowing in our lives, go all the way & go all out while playing the Infinite Game?
MY FORMULA for the true & beautiful life: APPRECIATE - ELEVATE - CELEBRATE
Appreciate what is already going well for you, Elevate what no longer suits you, and Celebrate every step of the way…
Another of my favorite intuitive readers, Anita Sirene (formerly Stargirl The Practical Witch) commented on the symbolism of how you dress your avatar : "how I look is important bc I'm important" - it's your message to the world about who you are & attracts your soul tribe
When you’re living the GOOD life it’s always time to take out & put on your GOOD SHIT! - YOU are the Main Event (The Art of CELEBRATION 🎉 )
“Everyday above ground is a blessing. I done leveled up, now view panoramic.”
-Beyoncé, MOOD 4 EVA 🎶
Know that no one is coming to save you. You have the honor & the privilege of doing so yourself.
Notice that the road to hell (paved with good intentions as it may) is also the road to heaven.
& The only real “problem” you’ll have is the UPPER LIMITS PROBLEM — a term coined by Gay Hendricks, describing the human tendency to cap our growth & expansion once we reach a certain level of discomfort
These are all GOOD* problems to have!!
It means you get to flex your muscle ability & capacity to receive & enjoy ever increasing levels of L.A.S.H - LOVE ABUNDANCE SUCCESS HEALTH & HAPPINESS, each & every day
To step farther outside your comfort zone each day…
It means employing GOOD SENSE (following your intuition *before* it makes sense & trusting yourself to & when you do so)
Noticing the signs of the Universe/speaking the language (Embodiment, flow & immediate feedback)
And internally shouting on occasion, “I don’t have to do anything, I get to do everything!”
Creating a Ritual Kit is as simple as collecting the Self Care Practices & Parables that speak to your soul & heart, and knowing which modalities will support you in each of the different cycles, phases & moods of your human existence and life .
The key 🔑 to the GOOD LIFE is recognizing it’s ALL GOOD (taking a tantric approach to life & living, where anything & everything can be used to propel you into your next destination — whether that’s forward into a new chapter or deeper into yourself. — It might not be right. It might not even be okay. But it’s still all good; and I might not always FEEL good but I know imma always BE good, because I have me…)
Repeat after me —
All is Well, at all times 🧘🏽♀️
Some storms come to clear your path (not get in your way).
There is a seed of abundance in every misfortune. Waiting for you to mine it.
Like Glennon Doyle said, “I’m not what just happened to me, but I might be what I do next” →
→ What would you entitle this chapter of your life? What does that mean to you?
The POWER of FEMININE SEDUCTION - Magnetism, Charisma, Charm
I was born 1:13 am on a Sat in NYC.
An individual (1) from the cosmic void (13).
The ultimate magician. With the ability to make something out of nothing.
In QUEENS GAMBIT E4: “Middle Game”, Mr. Schiebel teaches Alice that there are “2 sides of the same coin — you’ve got your gift & what it’ll cost you”
A lot of people fear Saturn, but he’s my Sugar Daddy bc he rewards heavenly & handsomely for sweat equity — time, work & effort & energy put in, goals taken seriously.
And having a Night Chart, Venus is another one of my Benefics.
Just from aligning my energy to one of beauty, power & love, engaging myself in intentional action, and staying open, I’ve pulled plenty of rabbits out of my hat — including most recently 15xed my money overnight, and doubled it again the next day, multiplying my bank balance by 30 in a little less than 3 days. And I did it all from home. My closet to be exact.
*
I call it Seductive Living bc there’s nothing more attractive than a soul in its element, enjoying itself
Allowing things to be easy, allowing the universe to provide for you and protect and guide you
Invite life to come to you, and it will invite you out to play…
SAINT SARAH & THE CAMARGUE CROSS
SARAH LA KALI called to me last year from an Amazon review on a deck of Oracle Cards I was considering buying.
Her photo pulled me in and made the decision for me.
In the center of her chest is the Camargue Cross, a French symbol featuring an anchor, heart, and trident cross, representing love, hope, and faith.
There are many rumors surrounding Sarah’s origin story - was she a slave or prophet?
One of the most interesting ideas I’ve come across connects her to the three Hindu goddesses of supreme divinity, also known as Tridevi:
SARASWATI
LAKSHMI
KALI MA
They are the Goddesses of Knowledge, Wealth, and Power, and represent the Holy Trinity of Feminine Power
YOUR HIGHNESS, YOUR GRACE, YOUR MAJESTY 👑 - Royal Already
* Think of yourself HIGHLY
* Show yourself GRACE
* Move from a place of MAJESTY
Worship Self:
*
“Study nothing except in the knowledge that you already knew it. Worship nothing except in adoration of yourself. And fear nothing except in the certainty that you are your enemy’s begetter and it’s only hope of healing”
-unknown
I see an era of Personal Gods ushering in - an unleashing of the Inner KING (Emperor) & QUEEN (Empress) in alignment & agreement, activating divine cooperation & harmony by putting yourself on a pedestal (rather than anyone or anything else, including your beloved goals) and embodying the God that you worship
*
& I’ve seen enough Medieval, Elizabethan, Victorian Era stories to know
Royals believed they were chosen by God, and that it was their god given birthright to rule, that because of the blood that ran through their veins, they possessed irrefutable power.
It is your birthright to be divine… you had the sheer luck of being chosen by the creator to rule & reign over the gift that is your life
You are a sovereign being & have been from birth & always will be. Nothing can change that, it can only appear to be that way momentarily...
You can trust yourself to do what’s best for you.
The (*no bullshit, non toxic, anti-patriarchal*) Guide to Being a HIGH VALUE WOMAN
There’s a lot of noise floating around the Internets about this very topic, and I don’t like very many of them —
I noticed a lot of them always painted the idea of self love, upleveling your life & going after success as a feat worthy of endeavoring only to attract a male partner, and I was craving a view that has nothing to do w men & centering the male gaze or stoking the flames of their burning desire.)
& In these spaces meant to be for us and created by us, why are we, in a patriarchal society, still choosing to appeal to & appease the oppressor?
This kind of madness has to stop. —
Sovereignty is found in detaching your view of self from the lens of external opinion - especially that of your “opposition or oppressor”.
So I made my own.
Enjoy… 💋
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I once saw a tweet that said something along the lines of “stop tryna be a cool girl and be a bad bitch. cool girls let shit slide. bad bitches have boundaries.”
Being a BITCH means being LOYAL to yourself —
Bad Bitches have Boundaries because “if you let a fool Shenan once they gone Shenanigan” 🤣 (joke courtesy of my big sister) - it’s that fool me once shame on you/fool me twice shame on me, energy
& It’s not enough to simply “have” boundaries. One must Establish, Communicate & Enforce said Boundaries
High Value people know their own WORTH.
It means Adding Tax & Giving No discounts,
Making No compromises on your values,
& understanding all the money in the world couldn’t buy you — you’re priceless & precious & perfect as is.
And while valuing other Women & People Highly,
Detaching the value of things & ppl external to you from your perception of self worth.
Praising yourself & prizing your pov over everything else..
Remaining untouchable & unfuckwithable, truly & irrevocably unbothered via channeling righteous rage & the DF - “been through some sad shit I should be a sad bitch, who would’ve thought it’d turn me to a savage?” - “7 RINGS”, Ariana Grande 🎶
Keeping your Expectations & Standards HIGH - Refusing to lower the bar bc you’re confident & consistently meeting One’s Own Needs,
In fact, RAISING THE BAR on who has access to you.
Being selective rather than worried about being selected.
Not performing for a man or partner or parent or society & no longer people pleasing period…
& There’s no more room for people pleasing bc you’re shifting that focus to self pleasure
Staying loyal to love - to living in/with integrity, grace, compassion
To being remarkable (rememberable + making/leaving your mark on the world, communicating your story through a signature style & essence, the High Value Woman dresses & adorns herself accordingly, whatever that may mean for you)
Romanticizing & Falling in love w yourself and your life & beauty. - smell the roses, pluck the peaches, frolic in fields of flowers
A High Value Human is in touch w their inner GOD/DESS
Knows themself inside & out.
Has embraced, absorbed, and embodied THE DARK & LIGHT ENERGIES WITHIN.
& Has faith in being endlessly provided for by the Universe
They may be HIGH MAINTENANCE…
Set on experiencing a HIGHER quality of life, HIGHER state of appreciation & HIGHER levels of enjoyment
& they’re also HIGH CLASS — exhibiting innate characteristics that you can’t pick up in school & that put lightyears them ahead of the pack
Being HIGH VALUE is about knowing you don’t have to explain yourself (permission to be heavy on the “I said what I said”)
That you don’t have to compare yourself (that would be to cheapen/devalue — you are incomparable by nature)
Or prove anything to anyone (the world proves itself to you, your work/aura/energy speak for itself)
Knowing you don't owe anyone SHIT — You owe it to yourself & yourself only,
be your own best friend & biggest cheerleader, drink the koolaid, you made it…
Not settling for anything less than the very best bc it’s what you deserve — you reserve the right to hold out for everything you deserve & desire, knowing that NO compromise is a good compromise, and living by design - choosing to never mask your essence
& Being comfortable w yourself no matter how uncomfortable this level of self love makes other ppl
“it’s how god made me so bitch pay me” - 👑 🐝, Beyoncé, COZY 🎶
For clues to how, hear this legend out in the iconic clip below
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and so our story for today ends, right where it began. With a girl.
Learning & practicing what it means to choose, trust & love herself.
Dreaming big, going for it, getting lucky through her own devotion.
Making big plans & doing dope shit.
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Why?
Because
LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT. WHY NOT MAKE IT A GOOD ONE ?